Zoezora

add as a friend

Sketchfu-ing since 04/05/2010 (user #72441)

15

The Death Zone on Gallifrey

About Zoezora

I am a reader. Which automatically makes me an adventurer!


It's baby Cookie!
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Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Cheese rocks a lot more than pie. If you believe this, copy this and put it in your profile.

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Some of my favorite quotes from Doctor Who:

1st Doctor:

The Doctor: Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the Fourth Dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet - without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day....

The Doctor: If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds, and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?

The Doctor: You can't rewrite history. Not one line!

The Doctor: I made some cocoa and got engaged.

Ian: Oh, so I'm going to die, am I?

[Upon encountering his second and third incarnations]
The Doctor: So you're my replacements — a dandy and a clown!

The First Doctor: One day I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.

[To the Fifth Doctor’s companions]
The First Doctor: I am the Doctor! The original, you might say!

[Having fooled Borusa into accepting Rassilon's offer of immortality, thus condemning him to eternity as a living statue]
The First Doctor: I suddenly realised what the old proverb meant: "To lose is to win, and he who wins shall lose." It was all part of Rassilon's trap to find out who wanted immortality and put him out of the way. He knew very well that immortality was a curse. Not a blessing.

[To the Fifth Doctor]
The First Doctor: You did quite well. Quite well. Hm. It's reassuring to know that my future is in safe hands.


2nd Doctor:

The Doctor: You look very nice in that dress, Victoria.
Victoria: Thank you. Don't you think it's a bit...
The Doctor: A bit short? Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. Look at Jamie's.

The Doctor: Don't you see what this is going to mean to all the people who come to serve Klieg the all powerful? Why, no country, no person would dare to have a single thought that was not your own. Eric Klieg's own conception of the, of the way of life!
Eric Klieg: Brilliant! Yes, yes, you're right. Master of the world.
The Doctor: Well now I know you're mad, I just wanted to make sure.

[The Doctor on disabling the Cybermats]
The Doctor: The power cable generated an electrical field and confused their tiny metal minds. You might almost say they've had a complete metal breakdown.

The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

The Doctor: An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?

Jamie: Oh, no, you're not thinking of what I think you're thinking of, are you?
The Doctor: That, I think, Jamie, depends upon what you think I am thinking!

The Doctor: We're nowhere. It's as simple as that.

Jamie: Come on, back to the TARDIS.
Zoe: Is that the right way?
Jamie: Of course it's the right way. No it could be... erm...
Zoe: We're lost, aren't we.
Jamie: No, I wouldn't say that. We're just er... well...um... [beat] You want to know something?
Zoe: What?
Jamie: I think we're lost.

The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

The Doctor: I suppose you've come for me?
Cyberman 1: You know our ways.
The Doctor: Yes, I hoped you realised somebody did. I imagine you have orders to destroy me?
Cyberman 1: Yes.
The Doctor: Tell me one thing, why did you order Duggan to destroy radio communication with the Earth? After all, that is why you want possession of the wheel, isn't it?
Cyberman 1: You know our ways.
The Doctor: That doesn't answer my question.
Cyberman 2: He was instructed to destroy only the transmitting complex.
The Doctor: Oh, I see, how interesting, yes, of course. And presumably your large space-ship holds your invasion fleet, and the smaller ships can only enter the planet's atmosphere by homing on a radio beam.
Cyberman 1: You know our ways. You must be destroyed.
The Doctor: Yes, I was afraid you'd get back to that.

[The Doctor explains his regeneration.]
Ben: The Doctor always wore this. If you are him it should fit... That settles it!
The Doctor: I'd like to see a butterfly fit into a chrysalis case after it spreads its wings.
Polly: Then you did change."
The Doctor: Life depends on change, and renewal.
Ben: Oh, that's it, you've been renewed, have you?"
The Doctor: Renewed? Have I? That's it, I've been renewed. It's part of the TARDIS. Without it I couldn't survive.

The Doctor: Do you suffer from headaches?
Man: No.
[The Doctor bangs the man's head on the table.]
The Doctor: Do you suffer from headaches?

The Doctor: This unit automatically controls the pulse, the temperature and the breathing.
Polly: A sort of electronic doctor.
The Doctor: Yes. Almost got striped trousers!

(Jamie spots a Cyberman.)
Jamie: It's you! The Phantom Piper!

(Jamie sees an airplane)
Jamie: Ooh, it's a flyin' beastie!

Astrid: I suggested that we meet under a disused jetty by the river.
Doctor: Disused Yeti?

The Doctor: People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them!

The Doctor: I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them!

First Doctor: Now what's a bridge for? Eh?
Second Doctor: Well, erm...
Third Doctor: Crossing?
First Doctor: Right! So stop dilly-dallying, and cross it!

Jo Grant(referring to the first Doctor): I hate to ask, but who was that?
Both Doctors: Me. [beat, face each other] Me!

Second Doctor:This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn't it?

Second Doctor: You haven't seen my recorder, have you? It's a little thing about this long and I had it when I came in, and I put it down somewhere...
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: For the last time, will you let me out of this madhouse?
Second Doctor: There's no point.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: I'm sorry Doctor, but I must insist. My place is with the men out there, trying to do something about that... whatever it is out there, not standing about here, messing around, looking for some damn fool flute!

Sergeant Benton: What are we going to do now?
The Second Doctor: Keep it confused, feed it with useless information--I wonder if I have a television set handy?

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: It seems to be your forte, Doctor; confusing people.

[The Brigadier sees the inside of the TARDIS for the first time.]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: So this is what you've been doing wih UNIT funds and equipment all this time. How's it done, some sort of optical illlusion?
Second Doctor: No, no, no...they come like this, really.

The Second Doctor: Ah, Thank You. I was wondering where I left that. [He picks up his recorder and tries to play a tune] You haven't been trying to play this have you? [To the Third Doctor's TARDIS] Oh, I see you've been doing the TARDIS up a bit. Hmm, I don't like it.

The Second Doctor: [referring to UNIT headquarters] You've redecorated in here, haven't you? Hmm. I don't like it.

The Doctor: Well, I must say goodbye, Brigadier. I really shouldn't be here at all. I'm not exactly breaking the laws of time, but I am bending them a little.

The Second Doctor: Have faith, Brigadier. Have I ever led you astray?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: On many occasions.
The Second Doctor: Yes... well, this will be the exception.

The Fifth Doctor: Well, now it seems we must part. Just as I was beginning to get to know me.
The Second Doctor: So you’re the latest one, hmm?
The Fifth Doctor: Yes, and the most agreeable.
The Second Doctor: Ah... certainly the most impudent.
The Third Doctor: Our dress sense certainly hasn’t improved much, has it?
The First Doctor: Neither has our manners.
[The Fifth Doctor looks mildly insulted/confused]

The Second Doctor: Goodbye... Fancypants!
The Third Doctor: [to his quickly retreating back]: Scarecrow!

3rd Doctor:

The Doctor: A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

Linx: Ah, I understand. You have a primary and a secondary reproductive cycle. [beat] It is an inefficient system, you should change it.

General Finch: Waiting for this mysterious scientific advisor of yours to turn up?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: That's right, sir.
General Finch: [Sarcastically] I suppose he'll just materialize out of thin air.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Very probably.

[The Doctor and Sarah Jane hear a strange, mechanical roaring sound]
Sarah Jane: That sounded awfully close.
The Doctor: Some sort of subterranean wind effect, I should think.
Sarah Jane: Who are you kidding?
The Doctor: Myself, chiefly.

Sarah Jane: [pointing] Doctor! Look! Look at the city!
[They watch as the abandoned city melts down to nothing.]
The Doctor: It's rather a pity, in a way...now the universe is down to 699 wonders.

4th Doctor:

Scorby: Okay, start talking.
The Doctor: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had perfect pitch...
Scorby: [referring to corpse] What happened to him?
The Doctor: Who, Wolfgang Amadeus...? Oh, him. Oh, he died.

The Doctor: [As Sarah accidentally speeds up the composter] NOT THAT BUTTON, THE OTHER ONE!

Major Beresford: I've been telling Sir Colin that without the proper authority, I will not launch a raid on someone's private property!
The Doctor: Waffle! Waffle, waffle, waffle!

The Doctor: Duggan, why is it that every time I start to talk to someone, you knock them unconscious?

[Duggan is annoyed by the incomprehensible technobabble the others are using.]
Duggan: Can anyone join in this conversation, or do you need a certificate?

The Doctor: Leonardo? You remember the Mona Lisa? That dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn't sit still?

The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being tortured by someone with cold hands.

Romana II: Where are we going?
The Doctor: Are you speaking philosophically or geographically?
Romana II: Philosophically.
The Doctor: Then we're going to lunch.

Duggan: You know what I don't understand?
Romana II: I expect so.

The Doctor: I suppose the best way to find out where you come from is to find out where you're going, and then work backwards.

The Doctor: I wouldn't make a very good criminal, would I?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No. [brandishes pistol] Good criminals don't get caught.

[The Doctor, Duggan and Romana have discovered six Mona Lisas walled up in a basement.]
The Doctor: May I ask where you got these?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No.
The Doctor: Or how you knew they were here?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No.
The Doctor: They've been bricked up a long time?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: Yes.
The Doctor: I like concise answers!
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: Good.

The Doctor: You're a clumsy, ham fisted idiot!
Harry Sullivan: I said I was sorry!
The Doctor: What?! Come out. And don't touch anything!

Vira: You claim to be Med-Techs?
The Doctor: Well, my Doctorate is purely honorary and Harry is only qualified to work on sailors.

The Doctor: [In Slightly Caring Voice] Homo sapiens. What an inventive, invincible species. It's only a few million years since they crawled up out of the mud and learned to walk. Puny, defenceless bipeds. They've survived flood, famine and plague. They've survived cosmic wars and holocausts. And now, here they are, out among the stars, waiting to begin a new life. Ready to outsit eternity. They're indomitable.

Sarah Jane: Harry, call me 'Old Girl' again and I'll spit in your eye.
The Doctor: Welcome back, Sarah Jane!

The Doctor: [while examining an infected man who's going to be shot by his comrades] The man is sick, he needs treatment!
Lester: There is no treatment. All we can try to do is stop the infection spreading!
The Doctor: Sorry, gentlemen, I can't allow it.
Commander Stevenson: You can't allow it?
The Doctor: My colleague is a doctor of medicine and I'm a doctor of many things. If we could examine him-
Kellman: [interrupting him] Commander, I'm afraid we have to kill these people, too. They brought the plague in here.
The Doctor: Who's the homicidal maniac?

The Doctor: I smell a rat. [The Doctor exits]
Commander Stevenson: [to Sarah Jane] You know, I sometimes wonder if your friend is quite right in the head.
Sarah Jane: If the Doctor scented a rat, Commander, he'll find one.

The Doctor: You've no home planet, no influence, nothing! You're just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking about the galaxy in an ancient spaceship!

Lester: Why don't we just wait here?
The Doctor: I think my idea is better.
Lester: What is your idea?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. That's the trouble with ideas - they only come a bit at a time.

The Doctor: Oh please, don't call me human. Just "Doctor" would do very nicely, thank you.

The Doctor: I'm a Time Lord.
Sarah Jane: Oh, I know you're a Time Lord.
The Doctor: You don't understand the implications... I'm not a human being; I walk in eternity...
Sarah Jane: What's that supposed to mean?
The Doctor: It means I've lived for something like 750 years.
Sarah Jane: All right, so you're middle aged!

The Doctor: It's high time I found something better to do than run around after the Brigadier!

The Doctor: Something's going on contrary to the laws of the universe. I must find out what!

[The Doctor is attempting to open a lock.]
The Doctor: French pick-lock? Never fails. Belonged to Marie Antoinette, charming lady. Lost her head, poor thing...

The Doctor: Of course this would be a perfect headquarters of a paramilitary organization. This room could easily be turned into a laboratory...

The Doctor: Something's interfering with time, Mr. Scarman. And time is my business.

[A box of Gelignite drops into his hands.]
The Doctor: Sweaty gelignite is highly unstable... One good sneeze could set it off.

The Doctor: Yes... perhaps it is time we were leaving. Don't want to be blamed for starting a fire, do we?
Sarah Jane: No!
The Doctor: There was enough of that in 1666.
Sarah Jane: (laughing) What?

Sarah Jane: That can't be... I'm from 1980...

Butler: Oh you're not fooling me sir, you came with Dr. Warlock didn't you?
The Doctor: Did we?
Butler: He asked you to scout 'round while he kept His Nibs busy.
The Doctor: Who?
Butler: The Egyptian, sir.
The Doctor: Ah, Egyptian eh? Is this where he keeps his relatives?

The Doctor: Well, Mr Scarman, I really must congratulate you for inventing the radio telescope 40 years early.
Laurence Scarman: That, sir, is a Marconiscope. It's purpose is...
The Doctor: ...is to receive radio emissions from the stars.
Laurence Scarman: [beat] How could you possibly know that?
The Doctor: Well, you see, Mr Scarman, I have the advantage of being slightly ahead of you. Sometimes behind you, but normally ahead of you.
Laurence Scarman: I see.
The Doctor: I'm sure you don't but it's very nice of you to try.

The Doctor: Where are we?
Scarman: [whispered] A priest hole.
The Doctor: In a Victorian Gothic Folly? Nonsense!
Sarah Jane: Oh, so pedantic at a time like this!

The Doctor: Door. Key.
Sarah Jane: As simple as that?
The Doctor: No, not really.
Sarah Jane: I didn't think so.

The Doctor Serve you, Sutekh? Your name is abominated in every civilised world!
Sutekh: You pit your puny will against mine?! Kneel!
The Doctor NO!
Sutekh: Kneel before the might of Sutekh!

The Doctor: Deactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel; one false move and you'll never know the time again.
Sarah Jane: Any more comforting thoughts?
The Doctor: No. Just let me know if it starts to get hot.
Sarah Jane: Don't worry. You'll hear me breaking the sound barrier!

The Doctor: But you use your powers for evil!
Sutekh: Evil? Your evil is my good. I am Sutekh the Destroyer. Where I tread, I leave nothing but dust and darkness...I find that good!

The Doctor: You humans have got such limited, little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.
Sarah: Because you have such good taste.
The Doctor:....That's true! That's very true!

Physician: You're a doctor, yourself?
The Doctor: Well sort of, yes.
Physician: How do you do. Tell me, where did you qualify, if I may ask?
The Doctor: A place called Gallifrey.
Physician: Gallifrey. I've not heard of it. Perhaps it's in Ireland.
The Doctor: Probably.

Sarah: Eldrad must live.

[Professor Watson is amazed that the missiles have had no effect.]
The Doctor: Any being that can exist, let alone thrive, inside a nuclear pile is hardly likely to be deterred by a few primitive missiles.
Professor Watson: But they're the most powerful missiles we have!
The Doctor: On your standards, perhaps. I think we should try much older weapons.
Sarah: Like?
The Doctor: Speech? Diplomacy?
Professor Watson: What?
The Doctor: Conversation? Come on, driver, let's go!

[Sarah has caught up with the Doctor after he told her to stay behind and wait in safety.]
Sarah: I worry about you.
[After Sarah has outlined why she should be allowed to accompany him.]
The Doctor: But . . .
Sarah: Ah, but what?
The Doctor: I worry about you.
Sarah: So? Be careful.
The Doctor: We'll both be careful.

King Rokon: So, now you are King, as was your wish. I salute you from the dead. Hail Eldrad! King... of nothing.

[Sarah having to leave the Doctor]
Sarah: Don't forget me.
The Doctor: Oh, Sarah. Don't you forget me.
Sarah: Bye, Doctor. You know, travel really does broaden the mind.
The Doctor: Yes. Until we meet again, Sarah.

The Doctor: Through the millennia, the Time Lords of Gallifrey led a life of ordered calm, protected against all threats from lesser civilisations by their great power. But this was to change. Suddenly, and terribly, the Time Lords faced the most dangerous crisis in their long history...

The Doctor: That's monstrous! Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution!

[The Doctor is being tortured.]
The Doctor: All right! I confess, I confess. I confess to your being a bigger idiot than I thought.

The Doctor: Oh! Engin, I can feel my hair curling and that can mean either that it's going to rain...or that I'm on to something.

[The Doctor to the Master.]
The Doctor: You'd delay an execution to pull the wings off a fly.

Engin: What is the Master like on mathematics?
The Doctor: He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant--he's almost up to my standards.

The Master: You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?

The Master: Doctor, my congratulations, you're just in time for the end!
The Doctor: You're insane! You're insane, do you hear me? You're releasing a force that nothing can stop!
The Master: Take the rod. You could take it with you to your grave, except that none of you will need a grave!
The Doctor: If you undo that, you'll die as surely as any of us!
The Master: You can do better than that, Doctor. Even in extremis, I wear the Sash of Rassilon!
The Doctor: Yes! And the president was wearing it when he was shot down! The sash won't protect you! It's damaged!
The Master: You lie!

The Doctor: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby!

The Doctor: I never carry weapons. If people see you mean them no harm, they never hurt you. Nine times out of ten...

The Doctor:Jelly Baby?
[The Jelly Babies are rudely slapped from his hand.]
The Doctor: Well a simple "No, thank you" would have been sufficient...

The Doctor: You're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

[D84 is being attacked with robot parts.]
D84: Please do not throw hands at me.

[Leela is manipulating a yo-yo while The Doctor is at the control console of the TARDIS]
Leela: Doctor?
The Doctor: Hmm?
Leela: Can I stop now?
The Doctor: If you want to.
Leela: It will not affect this?
The Doctor: Affect this? No, it's a yo-yo. It's a game; I thought you were enjoying it.
Leela: [incredulously] Enjoying it?! [drops the yo-yo] You said I had to keep it going up and down, I thought it was part of the magic!
The Doctor: [looks at Leela with wide-eyed surprise] Magic, Leela? Magic?
Leela: I know; I know, there's no such thing as magic.
The Doctor: That's right. To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.

Leela: So; explain to me how this, "TARDIS" is larger on the inside than the out?
The Doctor: Hmmm? Alright, I'll show you. It's because insides and outsides are not in the same dimension. [The Doctor holds up two black cubes of differing sizes] Which box is larger?
Leela: [pointing to the larger of the two] That one.
The Doctor: Alright... [The Doctor places the larger cube on the command console, and walks over next to Leela and holds up the smaller one] Now, which is larger?
Leela: [incredulously, pointing at the larger cube sitting on the console] That one!
The Doctor: But it looks smaller.
Leela: Well, that's because it's further away!
The Doctor: Exactly! If you could keep that exactly that distance away, and have it here, the large one would fit inside the small one.
Leela: That's silly.
The Doctor: That's trans-dimensional engineering; a key Time Lord discovery!

The Doctor: I see, you're one of those boring maniacs who's going to gloat. Are you going to tell me your plan for running the universe?
Taren Capel: Oh, no, Doctor. I'm going to burn out your brain. Very, very slowly.

[The Doctor on Leela's squeaky voice.]
The Doctor: Oh, there's a mouse in the cupboard...

The Doctor: Sometimes my brilliance astonishes even me.

[Finding a disgusting bit of dangling brain matter]
Leela: Eugh, what's that?
The Doctor: That is why my brain is so much superior to yours!

The Doctor: What do you know about brains, anyway?
Leela: All right, all right, don't get excited!
The Doctor: I'll get excited if I want to! It's my brain! I'll tell you something about brains-- do you want to know something?
Leela: Not much.
The Doctor: I'll tell you anyway. Someone once tried to build a machine as efficient as the brain. The only problem was, it would have had to be bigger than London-- do you remember London?-- and powered by the entire European grid. And that was just a human brain. Mine's much more complex.

The Doctor: [Slapping dangling bits of his brain material together in desperation] OW!
Leela: What did you do?
The Doctor: I think I told them my liver was disintegrating, I think.

The Doctor: [finding something strange in his brain] Who are you?
The Nucleus: I am the Nucleus.
The Doctor: You're trespassing, you know. Treading on my unconscious, affecting my metabol... Nucleus of what?
The Nucleus: The Nucleus of the Swarm.
The Doctor: Oh. Oh, I see. Why did you choose my brain?
The Nucleus: Because of your intelligence.
The Doctor: Oh well, I can understand that, but you realise you have no right-
The Nucleus: I have every right! It is the right of every creature across the universe to survive, multiply and perpetuate its species. How else does the predator exist? We are all predators, Doctor. We kill, we devour to live! Survival is all, you agree?
The Doctor: Oh yes, I do, I do. And on your argument - I have the perfect right to dispose of you.

Leela: Don't worry, Doctor. I found the answer: knife them in the neck!

The Doctor: Hahahaha! That was a good idea of mine, K-9, to blow it up!
K-9: Affirmative!
Leela: What do you mean, it was a good idea of yours? It was my idea!
The Doctor: What was?
Leela: To blow it up!
The Doctor: Then you should be feeling very happy.


[The TARDIS is being pulled into a 'relative continuum displacement zone']
Leela: What will happen?
The Doctor: I wish I knew.
Leela: Can we get free?
The Doctor: That depends on this misunderstood, unmanagable old machine!

The Doctor: Good morning, ladies. Now, which one of you has the time scanner? Hmmm? You know, I don't think these cows know anything about the time scanner.

The Doctor: Ah. A parastatic magnetometer. How very quaint!

The Doctor: [About humans] Your ancestors have a talent for self-destruction, but it borders on genius!

Ted Moss: You both must've escaped from somewhere, didn't you!
The Doctor: Frequently!

Leela: There's a guard... I shall kill him!
The Doctor: No.
Leela: Why not?
The Doctor: You'll upset the dog.

The Doctor: [Taps bone on a table, then sniffs it] Ah! Twelfth century!

The Doctor: [To a skull] Awww! Would you like a jelly baby? No, I don't suppose you would. Alas. Poor skull.

The Doctor: I love fruitcake!

Mrs Tyler: How do ye know so much?
The Doctor: I read a lot.

K-9: Check, Master.
The Doctor: What?
K-9: "Machine mind" computes mate in six moves.
The Doctor: Rubbish!
Leela: Doctor!
The Doctor: Leela, keep still!
Leela: But Doctor--
The Doctor: And shut up, I'm trying to concentrate.
K-9: Your move, Master.
The Doctor: I know it’s my move, don’t flash your eyes at me.
K-9: Wrong square.
The Doctor: What?
K-9: Your king, Master. Wrong square.
The Doctor: Really, are you sure?
K-9: Affirmative.
Leela: Doctor, can I speak now?
The Doctor: What? All right, if you must. What is it?
Leela: Well, the column has stopped moving.
The Doctor: So?
Leela: It is not important?
The Doctor: WHAT?! We might have gone right through the time spiral, why didn’t you tell me?
Leela: I tried to, but you wouldn’t let me.
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!

Leela: Perhaps everyone runs from the "taxman?"

Leela: These "taxes"; they are a sacrifice to the Gods?
The Doctor: Taxes are much more painful.

The Doctor: Leela, I think you and I should take a-- a W-A-L-K.
Leela: A W-A-L-K...?
The Doctor: Wuh-Ah-Ll-K!
K-9: Walk, mistress.
Leela: I know!
K-9: Ready, master.
The Doctor: No no no, you're not coming. You stay here.
K-9: Entreat, master!
The Doctor: No!
K-9: I'll be good!
The Doctor: NO!

The Doctor: Are we interrupting something?
Cordo: What did you say, citizen?
The Doctor: Somehow I have the impression you're thinking of killing yourself.
Cordo: It's the taxes.
The Doctor: Hmm?
Cordo: It's the taxes, I can't pay the taxes!
The Doctor: Oh, the taxes! My dear old thing, all you need is a wily accountant!

The Doctor: Even the sonic screwdriver won't get me out of this one!

The Doctor: Guard of honour? You're not fit to guard a jelly baby! Would you like a jelly baby?

Castellan: Is there anything else I can get you, sir?
The Doctor: Yes. A jelly baby. My right-hand pocket.
Castellan: What color would you prefer, sir?
The Doctor: Orange.
Castellan: There doesn't appear to be an orange one--
The Doctor: [Seizing Castellan by the arm] One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan.
Castellan: Indeed one does, sir.
The Doctor: One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan.
Castellan: Indeed, sir.
The Doctor: Except power.

Rodan: I cannot interfere, only observe.
Leela: But what if they attacked you?
Rodan: Then they would be very stupid; nothing can get past the transduction barriers.
[Cut to the Doctor and K9 in the TARDIS]
The Doctor: K9, destroy the transduction barriers.
K9: Master.

Andred: But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!
The Doctor: Oh, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes...

The Doctor: The localised condition of planetary atmospheric condensation caused a malfunction in the visual orientation circuits. Or to put it another way, we got lost in the fog.

[Doctor goes into the TARDIS]
Leela: Doctor?
The Doctor: Yes?!
Leela: I Will miss you!
[The Doctor smiles and closes the Tardis Door]
The Doctor: I'll Miss you too, savage
[The Doctor pulls out a box with the words "K9MII" written on the side.]

(5th Doctor)

The Doctor: An apple a day keeps the... Ah, never mind.

The Doctor: There's always something to look at if you open your eyes!

Tegan: Hello?
Old Woman: You, my dear, can't possibly exist, so go away.

The Doctor: You know how it is; you put things off for a day and next thing you know, it's a hundred years later.

The Doctor: Tell me, Portreve, off the record, will I find the Doctor here?
The Portreve: Oh, yes, Doctor, very soon.
The Doctor: Good.

Terileptil Leader: Such pride in something so stupid!!
[[Richard Mace]: I assure you sir, there is nothing primative about me.

Tegan: If anything he's saved us a long walk!

The Doctor: I LIKE long walks.

[after a cricket match]
Sir Robert: Superb innings! Worthy of the Master.
The Doctor: [alarmed] The Master?
Sir Robert: Well, the other Doctor! [The Doctor still looks alarmed] W.G. Grace!
The Doctor: [relieved] Yes, of course!

[Speaking on why he wouldn't have attacked Anne and killed the butler]
The Doctor: And besides -
Sir Robert: Besides what?
The Doctor: Well, it wouldn't be cricket.

The Doctor: When did you last have the pleasure of smelling a flower, watching a sunset, eating a well-prepared meal?
Cyberleader: These things are irrelevant.
The Doctor: For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about!

Tegan: I'm just a mouth on legs.

The Doctor: It's times like this I wish I still had my scarf.

The Doctor: The illusion is always one of normality.

The Doctor: You may disguise your features but you can never disguise your intent.

The Doctor: I sometimes wonder why I like the people of this miserable planet so much.

The Doctor: Tegan, make a wish! [Tegan shuts her eyes]
Nilson: [pointing a gun at the Doctor]: Goodbye Doctor!
The Doctor: Goodbye! [and shoots him with the ultra-violet light generator]

The Doctor: Oh, marvellous. You're going to kill me. What a finely tuned response to the situation.

The Doctor: A risk shared is a risk doubled.

Davros: If I were you, I'd be dead.
The Doctor: I lack your practice, Davros.

Davros: Once the Doctor has been exterminated, I should build a new race of Daleks.They will be even more deadly! And I Davros, shall be their leader! This time we shall triumph! The Daleks shall once more become the supreme beings!!!

Davros: The Daleks are dead. Long live the new Daleks! Oh! What's happening? No! No! It cannot be! I AM NOT A DALEK! I CANNOT DIE! I.. AM.. DAVROS!!!

The Doctor: Well, there's a probability of anything. Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a treeful of monkeys, they'd eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare.
Nyssa: [trying to draw the Doctor's attention away from his conversation with Tegan to the approaching craft on the viewscreen] Doctor...
The Doctor: Of course, you and I both know that at the end of a millennium they'd still be tapping out gibberish.
Tegan: And you'd be tapping it out right alongside them. I only asked you a simple question.

First Doctor: One day I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. [title theme begins]

Third Doctor: I've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow so the Tardis should be free of the force field now.

Lin Futu: I am Lin Futu.
The Doctor: Well I'd never have guessed it, you look in the best of health to me!

Turlough: We're running out of places to run.
Tegan: That's the story of our lives

Sir George: You speak treason!
The Doctor: Fluently!

Turlough: The worst place in the universe: English public school on Earth.

[The Master's last words before his apparent incineration]
The Master: Doctor, help me! I'll give you anything in creation! [The Doctor doesn't move] Would you show no mercy to your own-

The Doctor: Androzani Major was becoming quite developed last time I passed this way.
Peri: When was that?
The Doctor: ...I don't remember. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the future.

Peri: Doctor, why do you wear a stick of celery in your lapel?
The Doctor: Does it offend you?
Peri: No, just curious.
The Doctor: Safety precaution. I'm allergic to certain gases in the praxis range of the spectrum.
Peri: Well, how does the celery help?
The Doctor: If the gas is present, the celery turns violet.
Peri: And then what do you do?
The Doctor: I eat the celery. If nothing else, I'm sure it's good for my teeth.

The Fifth Doctor's last word:
The Doctor: Adric?


6th Doctor:

[After regenerating.]
Peri: Doctor?
The Doctor: -You were expecting someone else?
Peri: I- I- I-
The Doctor: That's three "I"s in one breath--makes you sound a rather egotistical young lady.
Peri: What's happened?
The Doctor: Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon.

The Doctor: Ahhh... a noble brow. Clear gaze. At least it will be given a few hours sleep. A firm mouth. A face beaming with a vast intelligence. My dear child what on Earth are you complaining about? It's the most extraordinary improvement.
Peri: Improvement?! On what?!
The Doctor: My last incarnation... oh, I was never happy with that one. It had a sort of feckless "charm" which simply wasn't me
Peri: What absolute rubbish! You were almost young, and you were sweet.
The Doctor: "Sweet?!" [scoff] Effete! Sweet? Sweet? That says it all. No, this has been a timely change. [Pauses, and stares into space] Change? What change? There is no change... no time, no rhyme, no place for space, nothing! Nothing but the grinding engines of the universe, the crushing boredom of eternity! [Collapses into a rack of coats and starts laughing hysterically, while Peri looks concerned]

Peri: He's not himself.
The Doctor: Then who am I?
Peri: I wish you wouldn't keep wandering off like that!
The Doctor: See it more as a mental stroll in a park of psychic tranquility!

The Doctor: Will you stop this nonsense?
Mestory: No, Time Lord!
The Doctor: Then take the consequences!
[The Doctor throws a vial of acid at Mestor, but it hits an invisible forcefield and explodes into a cloud of smoke, leaving Mestor unharmed]
Mestor: You think I would be so vulnerable? You are an interfering fool!
The Doctor: No, just a rotten shot.

7th Doctor:

The Doctor: You don't understand regeneration, Mel. It's a lottery, and I've drawn the short plank.

The Doctor: Absence makes the nose grow longer!

Rani: You going to be much longer in there, Doctor?
The Doctor: 'Fraid so; more hasta less vista.

Ikona: Well then why the hologram? Why didn't she just release Mel?
The Doctor: A bird in the hand keeps the Doctor away?
Ikona: You're probably right.
The Doctor: Only in this occasion, it'll have the opposite effect.

The Doctor: Ahh, well every dogma has its day.

The Doctor: Two wrongs don't make a left turn.

The Doctor: Time and tide melts the snowman.
Mel: Waits for no man!
The Doctor: Who's waiting? I'm ready.

Chief Caretaker: I am the chief caretaker.
The Doctor: And I am -
Chief Caretaker: No need to tell me, I know who you are. We have been waiting for this momentous visit for so many years. You were the man who brought Paradise Towers to life, the visionary who dreamed up its pools and lifts and squares, and now you have returned to your creation. You will make all those dilapidated lifts rise and fall as they have never done before! All signs of wall-scrawl will disappear from the corridors of Paradise Towers! The floors will gleam, the windows will shine and all will be made as new! Fellow caretakers, you know who this is? This is the great architect, returned to Paradise Towers! Bid him welcome! All hail the great architect, all hail!
Caretakers: All hail the great architect!
Caretaker: What should we do with him now chief?
Chief Caretaker:Kill him.

The Doctor: Well Kangs, I must say, there's no place like home... and this is no place like home.

The Doctor [referring to an antique telephone]: Are these antiques dotted about all over the building? It really is a splendid piece of audioarchitectonicalmetrasynchosity!

The Doctor: Love has never been noted for its rationality.

The Doctor: A stitch in time... takes up space.

Ace: Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers nine on the Richter scale?

Mel: Oh all right, you win.
The Doctor: I do? I usually do.
Mel: I'm going now.
The Doctor: Yes, that's right, you're going. You've been gone for ages. You're already gone. You're still here. You've just arrived. I haven't even met you yet. It all depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time.

The Doctor: Think about me when you're living your life one day after another, all in a neat pattern. Think about the homeless traveller in his old police box, his days like crazy paving.

Mel: [in a whisper] Ace doesn't have anywhere to go.
The Doctor: Nonsense, it's an idyllic place, Perivale! It's got lush green fields - and village blacksmith, um-
Mel: Doctor, she comes from the twentieth century!
The Doctor: [thinking of 20th century Perivale] Oh...

Mel: I'll send you a postcard!
The Doctor: But I don't have an address!
Mel: Oh, I'll put it in a bottle and throw it into space! It'll reach you... in time.

The Doctor: Ace! Where d'you think you're going?
Ace: [miserable] Perivale...
The Doctor: Ah yes, but by which route? The direct route with Glitz? Or the scenic route? [Ace begins to smile] Well, do you fancy a quick trip around the twelve galaxies and then back to Perivale in time for tea?
Ace: [jumps for joy] ACE!
The Doctor: [suddenly stern, he holds up three fingers] But there are three rules! One: I'm in charge.
Ace: Whatever you say, Professor!
The Doctor: [holding up two fingers] Two: I'm not 'the Professor', I'm the Doctor!
Ace: Whatever you want!
The Doctor: And the third... [he suddenly smiles] Well, I'll think up the third by the time we get back to Perivale. [they smile at each other]

The Doctor: Captain, you're not dealing with human beings here.
Captain Gilmore: What am I dealing with? Little green men?
The Doctor: No, little green blobs in bonded polycarbite armour.

The Doctor: You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies.

Ace: But this is earth, 1963. Well someone would've noticed, I'd have heard about it!
The Doctor: Do you remember the Zygon gambit with the Loch Ness monster? Or the Yetis in the underground?
Ace: The what?
The Doctor: Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself.

Undertaker: Hello, governor? Somebody's come to collect that big casket. [pause] Yes, yes the Doctor. [pause] Just one thing, governor: I thought you said he was an old geezer with white hair!

Group Captain Gilmore: You were hired as a chief scientific adviser, one tends to expect advice from ones adviser.
Professor Jensen: For one thing, Group Captain, I was not hired, I was drafted. And for another, do you think I'm enjoying having some space vagrant come along and tell me that the painstaking research I have devoted my life to, has been superseded by a bunch of tin-plated pepper pots?!

[The Doctor explains the history of the Hand of Omega.]
The Doctor: It's called that because Time Lords have an infinite capacity for pretension.
Ace: Noticed that.

Davros: We shall become all-
[The Doctor finishes his sentence.]
The Doctor: Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING! Et cetera! Et cetera!

The Doctor: Dalek! You have been defeated. Surrender! You have failed. Your forces are destroyed, your home planet a burnt cinder circling a dead sun. Even Davros, your creator, is dead! You have no superiors, no inferiors, no reinforcements, no hope, no rescue! You're trapped, a trillion miles and a thousand years from a disintegrated home. I have defeated you. You no longer serve any purpose.

[During a funeral procession.]
Ace: Doctor. We did good, didn't we?
The Doctor: Time will tell, always does.

Trevor Sigma: Name?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Haven't we met?
Trevor Sigma: I'm sorry, that's classified information.
The Doctor: You're Trevor Sigma, aren't you?
Trevor Sigma: Galactic Census Bureau, I ask the questions.
The Doctor: You ask the questions?
Trevor Sigma: I'm sorry, that's classified information. Address?
The Doctor: Which one?
Trevor Sigma: If you live here, I need a town and a street. If you're an alien, I need a home planet, except when you spend more than half the work here when you're away, in which case I need a planet of origin.
The Doctor: That's classified information. Name?
Trevor Sigma: What?
The Doctor: I ask the questions. Name!
Trevor Sigma: Trevor Sigma.
The Doctor: Address?
Trevor Sigma: Galactic Census.
Earl Sigma: What's happening Doctor?
The Doctor: Questionnaire. Occupation?
Trevor Sigma: Galactic Census Bureau, authorised to enter all Alphan property and to interview all Alphans.
The Doctor: Good, take me to your leader.

Earl Sigma: You're a nice guy Doctor, but a little weird.
The Doctor: I don't know about the little...

The Doctor: And where are the Census Bureau going to send you next?
Trevor Sigma: Earth. Have you been there?
The Doctor: Once or twice.
Trevor Sigma: Miserable sort of place.
The Doctor: You’re making me feel nostalgic.

Earl Sigma: Blissful, isn’t it, Doctor? Silence.
The Doctor: Aha, not quite. I can hear the sound of empires toppling.

Ace: They saved my life!
The Doctor: Don't thank them yet. We might live to regret it.
Ace: What are they?
The Doctor: Cybermen.

Ace: We can't go nicking stuff in here
The Doctor: It's only temporary
Ace: It's probably treason, I'm too young to go to the tower

The Doctor: This may qualify as the worst miscalculation since life crawled out of the seas on this sad planet.

The Doctor: I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro-9, have you?
Ace: What if I had?
The Doctor: And naturally, you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?
Ace: Of course not. I'm a good girl and do what I'm told.
The Doctor: Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.

The Doctor: [Reading a Norse inscription] We hoped to return to the North Way, but the dark curse follows our dragon ship... The Wolves of Fenric shall return for their treasure, and then shall the dark evil rule eternally.

Ace: You know what's going on, don't you?
The Doctor: [dismissive] Yes.
Ace: [gradually getting angrier] You've always known, you just can't be bothered to tell anyone! It's like it's some kind of a game and only you know the rules! You knew all about that inscription being a computer program - but you didn't tell me! You know all about that old bottle and you're not telling me! Am I so stupid-?
The Doctor: [uncomfortable] No, that's not it!
Ace: WHY then?! I want to know!
The Doctor: Evil, evil since the dawn of time!
Ace: What do you mean?
The Doctor: Will you stop asking me these questions?!
Ace: [almost screaming] TELL ME!
The Doctor: The dawn of time, the beginning of all beginnings. Two forces, only good and evil. Then chaos. Time is born, matter, space. The universe cries out like a newborn. The forces shatter as the universe explodes outwards. Only echoes remain, yet somehow, somehow the evil force survives... an intelligence of pure evil.
Ace: And that's Fenric.
The Doctor: No, that's just Millington's name for it. The evil has no name, trapped inside a flask like a genie in a bottle.


Ace: And the half-time score: Perivale: 600 million; rest of the universe: nil.

Ace: Can we stop it?
The Doctor: We need to get that flask.
Ace: We can release Captain Soren to help us! I can distract the guard!
The Doctor: [missing her point] How?
Ace: Professor... I'm not a little girl.

9th Doctor:

the Doctor: "DON'T DROP THE BANANA!!"
Jack: "Why?"
the Doctor: "Good source of potassium!!"
Jack: "Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves!"

after military men are told to execute the Doctor:

The Doctor: Ah, well, now, you see, uh, the thing is, if I was you, if I was gonna, uh, execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, A little word of advice, there is a ping and a door slides open behind the Doctor don't stand him against the lift! steps backwards and the lift door closes


10th Doctor:

Mickey: Oh my God, I'm their tin dog.

Rose: What's the city called?
The Doctor: New New York.
Rose: Oh, come on.
The Doctor: It is! It's the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York. What?
Rose: You're so different.
The Doctor: New-New Doctor.

Doctor, "And you started to scream?"
Mickey, "It took me by surprise-"
Doctor, "Like a little girl!"
Mickey, "It was dark, I was covered in rats."
Doctor, "9 maybe 10 years old. I'm seeing pigtails, pretty skirt."

Rose: No, you're not keeping the horse!
Doctor: I let you keep Mickey, now GO GO GO!

Martha: This morning you you came up to me and took your tie off.
Doctor: ...Really? What'd I do that for?

Doctor: We might die.
Martha: We might not.
Doctor: Goooood. Come on now.

The Doctor: [posing as a teacher, introducing himself to class] So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! [repeatedly says the word "Physics" before catching himself] I hope you're getting all this down!

The Doctor: K-9! Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, allow me to introduce K-9! Well, K-9 Mark III, to be precise.
Rose: Why does he look so... disco?
The Doctor: Oi! Listen, in the year 5000, this was cutting edge!

The Doctor: [excited in realising who he has just kissed] No, no, no way, Reinette Poisson? Later Madame D'Etoiles, later still mistress of Louis XV, uncrowned Queen of France? Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan. Fantastic gardener!
French Servant: Who the hell are you?!
The Doctor: [giddy] I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?
The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... [A whinny is heard from off screen] Oh, and I met a horse.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

Pete: I thought it was the security services, what do I get? Scooby-Doo and his gang! They've even got the van!
Mickey: No, no, but the Preachers know what they're doing. Ricky said he's London's most wanted.
Ricky: Yeah, that's not exactly...
Mickey: Not exactly what?
Ricky: I'm London's most wanted for... parking tickets.
Pete: Great.
Ricky: Yeah, they were deliberate, I was fighting the system! Park anywhere, that's me.
The Doctor: Good policy. I do much the same.

Detective-Inspector Bishop: Start from the beginning, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet.

The Doctor:The Beast is playing on very basic fears. Darkness, childhood, nightmares, all that sort of stuff.
Danny: But that's how the devil works!
The Doctor: Or a good psychologist.

The Doctor: [coming up out of the floor of the TARDIS with an equipment pack on his back] Who you gonna call?
Rose: Ghostbusters!
The Doctor: I ain't afraid of no ghost!

The Doctor: I like that, "Allons-y". I should say allons-y more often. Look sharp, Rose Tyler, allons-y! And then it would be really brilliant if I met someone called Alonso, 'cause then I could say allons-y Alonso every time... [beat] you're staring at me.
Rose: My mum's still on board.
Jackie: [Sitting on shelf] If we end up on Mars, I'm gonna kill you!

Dalek Thay: Identify yourselves.
Cyberman: You will identify first.
Dalek Thay: State your identity!
Cyberman: You will identify first.
Dalek Thay: Identify!
Mickey: It's like Stephen Hawking meets the speaking clock.

The Doctor: Guess what I've got, Donna?
[Holds up Robot remote control]
The Doctor: Pockets!
Donna: How did that fit in there?
The Doctor: They're bigger on the inside.

Martha: What's that?
The Doctor: Sonic screwdriver.
Martha: Well if you're not going to tell me.
The Doctor: No really, see? It's a screwdriver and it's... sonic.
Martha: What else have you got, laser spanner?
The Doctor: I did, but it was stolen by Emmeline Pankhurst. Cheeky woman.

The Doctor: "Rage, rage, against the dying of the light..."
William Shakespeare: I might use that.
The Doctor: You can't, it's someone else's.

Doctor: All the world's a stage...
William Shakespeare: I might use that.

The Doctor: Come on! We can all have a good flirt later!
William Shakespeare: Is that a promise, Doctor?
The Doctor: Oooh, 57 academics just punched the air!

Shakespeare: To be or not to be... Ooh. That's quite good.
The Doctor: You should write that down.
Shakespeare: Maybe not. Bit pretentious?
The Doctor: Meh.

The Doctor:The Carrionites used you. They gave you the final words like a spell, like a code. Love's Labours Won, it's a weapon! The right combination of words spoken in the right place with the shape of the Globe as an energy converter! The play's the thing! And yes, you can have that.

The Doctor: Once more unto the breach!
William Shakespeare: I like that! [realises] Wait a minute. That's one of mine!
The Doctor: Oh, just... shift!

William Shakespeare: "Sycorax." Nice word. I'll have that off you as well.
Doctor: I should be on ten percent.

Doctor: [determined to go after Martha] I'm finding my own way, I usually do. [opens hatch with sonic screwdriver] There we go [takes off coat and tosses it to Valerie] Look after this. [looks down hatch, then up again longingly] I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.

Martha: Wonder what year it is? Look, the Empire State Building's not even finished yet.
The Doctor: Work in progress. Still got a couple of floors to go and if I know my history that makes the date somewhere around..
Martha: [picking up a newspaper] November 1st 1930.
The Doctor: [impressed] You're getting good at this.

The Doctor: Black tie... Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens.
Martha: That's not the outfit, that's just you. But anyway, I think it suits you. In a... James Bond kinda way.
The Doctor: James Bond? Really?...

Cathy: Why did you come here anyway?
Sally: I love old things. They make me feel sad.
Cathy: What's good about sad?
Sally: It's happy for deep people.

[Larry starts the DVD]
Larry: And there he is.
Sally: The Doctor.
Larry: Who's the doctor?
Sally: He's the Doctor.
The Doctor: Yep, that's me.
Sally: Okay, that's scary.
Larry: No, it sounds like he's replying, but he always says that.
The Doctor: Yes I do.
Larry: And that.
The Doctor: Yep, and this.
Sally: He can hear us! Oh my God, you can really hear us!
Larry: Of course he can't hear us. Look, I've got a transcript, see? Everything he says: 'Yep, that's me,' 'Yes I do,' 'Yep, and this,' next is...
The Doctor and Larry: [in unison] Are you going to read out the whole thing?
Larry: [sheepishly] Sorry.

The Doctor: Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss, they just zap you into the past and let you live to death. The rest of your life used up and blown away in the blink of an eye. You die in the past, and in the present they consume the energy of all the days you might have had, all your stolen moments. They're creatures of the abstract. They live off potential energy.
Billy Shipton: What in God's name are you talking about?
Martha Jones: Trust me, just nod when he stops for breath.
The Doctor: Tracked you down with this. This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 30 paces, whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

The Doctor: [on video] The Angels have the phone box.
Larry: "The Angels have the phone box". That's my favourite; I've got that on a t-shirt!
Sally: What do you mean "Angels"? You mean those statue things?
The Doctor: Creatures from another world.
Sally: But they're just statues.
The Doctor: Only when you see them.
Sally: What does that mean?
The Doctor: Lonely assassins, they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the Universe—or very nearly. And they've survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved: they're quantum locked. They don't exist when they're being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature, they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. 'Course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink, and oh yes it can.
Sally: [to Larry, referring to a nearby Angel] Don't take your eyes off that.
The Doctor: That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. Loneliest creatures in the Universe. And I'm sorry. I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.
Sally: What am I supposed to do?
The Doctor: The blue box; it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there that they could feast on forever, but the damage they would do could switch off the Sun. You have got to send it back to me.
Sally: How? How?!
The Doctor: And that's it, I'm afraid, there's no more from you on the transcript, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking, but I can guess: they're coming; the Angels are coming for you, but listen—your life could depend on this—don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.

Captain Jack: Captain Jack Harkness... and who are you?
Martha: Martha Jones.
Captain Jack: Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.
The Doctor: Oh, don't start!
Captain Jack: I was only saying 'hello'!
Martha: I don't mind.

Captain Jack: So there I was, stranded in the year two–hundred–one–hundred, ankle-deep in Dalek dust, he goes off without me. But I had this [taps his wrist strap] I used to be a Time Agent, it’s called a Vortex Manipulator. He’s not the only one who can time travel—
The Doctor: Excuse me, that’s not time travel. It’s like, I’ve got a sports car, you’ve got a Space Hopper.
Martha: Oh ho ho! Boys and their toys.
Captain Jack: All right, so I bounced. I thought, twenty–first century, that’s the best place to find the Doctor. Except I got it a little bit wrong, arrived in 1869, and this thing burnt out, so it was useless-
The Doctor: Told you!
Captain Jack: Then I had to live through the entire twentieth century, waiting to find the version of you that would coincide with me.
Martha: But that makes you more than a hundred years old.
Captain Jack: And looking good, don’t you think? So, I went to the Time Rift, 'cause I knew you’d come back to refuel, until finally, I get a signal on this thing detecting you... and here we are!

Martha: But the thing is, why'd you leave him behind, Doctor?
The Doctor: I was busy.
Martha: Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?
Captain Jack: Not if you're blonde.
Martha: Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise!
The Doctor: You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... blogging!!

The Doctor: And... Utopia is...?
Professor Yana: Oh, every human knows about Utopia! Where have you been?!
The Doctor: Bit of a hermit.
Professor Yana: A hermit. With... friends?
The Doctor: Hermits United. We meet up every ten years. Swap stories about caves. It's good fun... for a hermit.

The Doctor: Do you want to die?
Captain Jack: [doesn't answer immediately, struggling with a power coupling] This one's a little stuck...
The Doctor: Jack.
Captain Jack: I thought I did. I don't know. But this lot... you see 'em out here surviving... and that's fantastic.
The Doctor: You might be out there somewhere.
Captain Jack: I can go meet myself.
The Doctor: Well... the only man you're ever going to be happy with.
Captain Jack: This new regeneration... it's kinda cheeky.

Captain Jack: But I keep wondering... what about aging? Cause I can't die, but I keep getting older... the odd little grey hair? Y'know? What happens if I live for a million years?
The Doctor: I really don't know.
Captain Jack: Heh, okay, vanity, sorry. Yeah, can't help it. Used to be a poster boy, when I was a kid, living in the Boeshane Peninsula. Tiny little place. I was the first ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me. The Face of Boe, they called me. I'll see you.
The Doctor: No..
Martha: It can't be.
The Doctor: No... definitely not... no?
The Doctor: No!!


[A foghorn is heard and an object hits the TARDIS, spraying dry debris everywhere]
The Doctor: [quietly] What? [more audibly] What?
[A massive cruise liner has seemingly burst through the side of the TARDIS console room. The Doctor picks up a lifesaver with the words "Titanic" printed on]
The Doctor: [Looking up, disbelievingly and with foreboding] What?

"Time Crash"

Tenth Doctor: [excited, in awe] Look at you! The hat, the coat, the crickety-cricket stuff, the... [unenthusiastically] stick of celery, yeah... brave choice, celery, but fair play to you, not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable.
Fifth Doctor: Shut up! [whips his hat off] There is something very wrong with my TARDIS, and I've got to do something about it very, very quickly. And it would help, it really would help if there wasn't some skinny idiot ranting in my face about every single thing that happens to be in front of him!
Fifth Doctor: [Increasingly concerned] It's like like two time zones at war in the heart of the TARDIS! That's a paradox. Could blow a hole in the space-time continuum the size of—
[The Tenth Doctor spins the monitor so that the Fifth Doctor can see it]
Fifth Doctor: [Underwhelmed] —well, actually, the exact size of Belgium. That's a bit undramatic, isn't it? Belgium?
Tenth Doctor: D'ya need this? [offers him the sonic screwdriver]
Fifth Doctor: Nah, I'm fine.
Tenth Doctor: Oh, no, of course. You mostly went hands-free didn't you? Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string! And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

Fifth Doctor: [staring the Tenth Doctor straight in the face] Who are you?
Tenth Doctor: Take a look.
Fifth Doctor: Oh. Oh, no.
Tenth Doctor: Oh, yes.
Fifth Doctor: You're... Oh, no.
Tenth Doctor: [smugly, nodding] Here it comes, yeah, yeah I am..
Fifth Doctor: [sighs] A fan!
Tenth Doctor: Yeah... [beat] What?
Tenth Doctor: You know, I loved being you. Back when I first started, at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you're young. And then I was you, and it was all dashing about and playing cricket and my voice going all squeaky when I shout. I still do that, the voice thing, I got that from you! Oh, and the trainers, and [puts on his glasses] snap. 'Cos you know what, Doctor? You were my Doctor.
Fifth Doctor: [Touched, raises his hat in salute] To days to come.
Tenth Doctor: All my love to long ago.
[The Fifth Doctor vanishes.]

Mr Copper: I shall be taking you to Old London town in the country of UK, ruled over by Good King Wenceslas. Now human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner, like savages.

Rickston Slade: Hang on a minute. Who put you in charge? And who in the hell are you anyway?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?
Slade: No.
The Doctor: In that case: Allons-y!

Mr Copper: [on Christmas] It's a festival of violence! They say that human beings only survive depending on whether they've been good or bad! It's barbaric!
The Doctor: Actually, that's not true. Christmas is a time of, of peace, and thanksgiving, and... [trails off] What am I on about? My Christmases are always like this!

[Running into the ship's kitchen, the Doctor is cornered by four hosts]
The Doctor: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Security protocol one, do you hear me, one! [The host pause] Ok. That gives me three questions. three questions to save my life, am I right?
A Host: Information. Correct.
The Doctor: ...No! That wasn't one of them! I didn't mean it; can I start again?
A Host: Information. No.
The Doctor: No! no, no, no! That wasn't a question either! Blimey... one question left. So, you've been given orders to kill the survivors but survivors, therefore, must be passengers or staff. But not me. I'm not a passenger. I'm not staff. Go ahead, scan me. You must have bio-records for every person onboard. I don't exist. Therefore, you can't kill me. Therefore, I'm a stowaway. And stowaways should be arrested and taken to the nearest figure of authority. And I reckon... the nearest figure of authority... is on deck 31. Final question. Am I right?
A Host: Information. Correct.
The Doctor: Brilliant. Take me to your leader. I've always wanted to say that!

The Doctor: What's your first name?
Midshipman: Alonso.
The Doctor: [pauses in disbelief] You are kidding me!
Midshipman: Uh... why?
The Doctor: There's something else I've always wanted to say: Allons-y Alonso!

The Doctor: [mouthing from behind soundproof glass] Donna???
Donna: [also mouthing] Doctor!!!!
The Doctor: But... what? Wha... WHAT??!?
Donna: Oh! My! God!
The Doctor: But... how?
Donna: [pointing at self] It's me!
The Doctor: Well, I can see that!
Donna: Oh this is brilliant!
The Doctor: But... what the hell are you doing there???
[Donna's just so thrilled, she waves! Big smile!]
The Doctor: But, but but, why, what, where, when?
Donna: You! I was looking for you!
The Doctor: What for?!
Donna: [miming in a surreal sense while the Doctor looks more and more confused] I, came here, trouble, read about it, internet, I thought, trouble = you! And this place is weird! Pills! So I hid. Back there. Crept along. Heard this lot. Looked. You! Cos they—
[On "they", gestures and looks toward Miss Foster, who is staring at her. As are the guards. Penny too.]
Donna: [freezes] Oops.
Miss Foster: [out loud] Are we interrupting you?
The Doctor: [mouthing] Run!

Doctor: Name?
General Staal: General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran battle fleet. "Staal The Undefeated!"
Doctor: Oh that's no good. What if you get defeated? "Staal The Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Any-More-But-Never-Mind?"

Donna: [talking about UNIT­] You used to work for them?
The Doctor: Yeah, back in the seventies. Or was it the eighties?

General Staal: We have an intruder!
Doctor: How'd he get in? In-tru-da window?

The Doctor: I don't know where we're going but my old hand's very excited about it!
Donna: I thought that was some bloody alien thing! You're telling me it's yours?!
The Doctor: Well...
Martha: It got cut off. He grew a new one!
Donna: You are completely impossible!
The Doctor: Not impossible... just a bit unlikely.

Donna: It's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie!
The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: I know but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. That's like meeting Dickens surrounded by ghosts at Christmas!
Doctor: Well...
Donna: Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy! Could we? Noddy's not real—is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!
The Doctor: There's no Noddy.

The Doctor: The Library. So big it doesn't need a name; just a great big "the."

[Donna takes a book in her hands, The Doctor takes it away from her immediately]
The Doctor: Spoilers!
Donna: What?
The Doctor: These books are from your future. If you read ahead, it will spoil all the surprises. Like peeping at the end.
Donna: Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?
The Doctor: I try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be really bad at.

Mr Lux: Oh, for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you, we're all going to die here and you're just squabbling like an old married couple!
[The Doctor and Prof. River Song look at each other in emotional surprise]

The Doctor: Why am I handcuffed... why would you even have handcuffs?
Prof. River Song: Spoilers.

The "Next" Doctor: It's strange, though. I talk of Cybermen... from the stars... and you don't blink, Mr. Smith.
The Doctor: Ah, don't blink, whatever you do, don't blink, remember that? The blinking and the statues and... Sally and the angels... no?
The "Next" Doctor: You're a very odd man.

The "Next" Doctor: There she is. My transport through time and space. [reveals a hot-air balloon] The TARDIS.
The Doctor: You've got a... balloon.
The "Next" Doctor: TARDIS. T-A-R-D-I-S. It stands for Tethered Aerial Release Developed In Style!

Captain Erisa Magambo: [on the phone] Doctor, this is Captain Erisa Magambo. [salutes] Might I say, sir, it's an honour.
The Doctor: Did you just salute?
Capt. Magambo: [embarrassed] ...No.

Adelaide: State your name, rank, and intention!
The Doctor: The Doctor. Doctor. Fun.

The Doctor: Ah, now sorry, there you are. So, where we, I was summoned, wasn't I? The Ood in the snow, calling to me. Well, I didn't just have to come straight here; had a bit of fun you know, travelled about, a bit of this and that, got into trouble, you know me. But it was brilliant. I saw the phosphorous carousel of the Great Magellan gestadt, saved a planet from the red carnivorous Maw, named a galaxy Alison. Got married, that was a mistake: Good Queen Bess! And let me tell you, her nickname is no longer... [clears throat] anyway, what do you want?
Ood Sigma: You should not have delayed.
The Doctor: Last time I was here, you said my song would be ending soon. And I'm in no hurry for that.
Ood Sigma: You will come with me.
The Doctor: Hold on. Better lock the TARDIS. [points the TARDIS key at the TARDIS, which chirps like a sports car as its light flashes. He looks back at Ood Sigma] Eh? Like a car. I l... locked it, like a car. [Ood Sigma looks unamused] That's... funny. No? Little bit? [exhales] Blimey, trying to make an Ood laugh...

Martha:that's why I thought we needed an expert.
The Doctor: Really? who'd you get...........oh me!

[The Doctor and Ross take cover waiting for the ATMOS system to explode][Tiny spark comes out of it.]
The Doctor: Oh, is that it?

Newly regenerated Doctor Now 10th: Ooh, that's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.

11th Doctor:

The Doctor: Can I have an apple? All I can think about... apples! I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving! That's new. Never had cravings before. Whoo! Look at that!
Amelia: Are you okay?
The Doctor: Just had a fall, all the way down there right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Amelia: You're soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Amelia: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

The Doctor: Beans are evil. Bad bad beans.

The Doctor: You know when grown ups tell you everything is going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
Amelia: Yes.
The Doctor: Everything's going to be fine.

The Doctor: And, what sort of job's a kissogram?
Amy Pond: I go to parties, and I... kiss people...with outfits. It's a laugh!
The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!
Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everyone's aunt! And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

The Doctor: Where is this? Where am I?
Amy: Leadworth.
The Doctor: Where's the rest of it?
Amy: This is it.
The Doctor: Is there an airport?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: A nuclear power station?
Amy: Haha, no.
The Doctor: Even a little one?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: Nearest city?
Amy: Gloucester, half an hour by car.
The Doctor: We don't have half an hour, do we have a car?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: Oh that's good, fantastic that is. Twenty minutes to save the world and I have a post office. And it's shut!

The Doctor: And the final score is: no TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare. Who da man?! Okay, that's... I'm never saying that again. Fine.

Amy Pond: I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box!

Amy: How does a mouth have an eject button?!
The Doctor: Think about it! Right then! [Tweaks bow tie, facing tidal wave of vomit] This isn't going to be big on dignity! Geronimo!


Amy: So what do we do? Is this what we do now? Chase after them?
The Doctor: This is what I do, yeah, and it's dangerous, so you wait here.
Amy: So I've got to stay safe down here... in the middle of the London Blitz?!
The Doctor: Safest it gets around me.
Amy: Well, what does he expect us to do now?
Churchill: KBO, of course.
Amy: What?
Churchill: Keep Buggering On.

Dalek: We picked up a trace. One of the Progenitor devices.
The Doctor: Progenitor? What's that when it's at home?
Dalek: It is our past. And our future.
The Doctor: Ohhh, that's deep. That is deep for a Dalek. What does it mean, though?
Dalek: It contains pure Dalek DNA. Thousands were created. All were lost, save one.

The Doctor: The question is, what do we do now? Either you turn off your clever machine or I'll blow you and you new paradigm into eternity.
Supreme Dalek: And yourself.
The Doctor: Occupational hazard.
Strategist Dalek: Scan reveals nothing; TARDIS self destruct device non-existent!
The Doctor: All right, [takes a bite out of the 'self-destruct'] it's a Jammie Dodger, but I was promised tea!

[The Doctor and Amy are stood over an exhibit in a museum, a futuristic black box]
The Doctor: The writing... the graffiti: Old High Gallifreyan. The lost language of the Time Lords. There were days, there were many days, where these words could burn stars, raise up empires, and topple gods.
Amy: What does this one say?
The Doctor: [hesitates, then, exasperatedly] "Hello sweetie".

River Song: Use the stabilizers!
The Doctor: It doesn't have stabilizers!
River Song: The blue switches!
The Doctor: The blue ones don't do anything, they're just... blue!
River Song: Yes they're blue: they're the blue stabilizers! See?
The Doctor: Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers!
Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?
The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? Ha!
River Song: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and... parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed!
River Song: Of course we've landed; I just landed her.
The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise.
River Song: What noise?
The Doctor: You know, the... [does an impression of the TARDIS materialization sound]
River Song: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

Amy: Are you sure this whole tunnel won't cave in?
River Song: Amazing builders, the Aplans.
The Doctor: Had dinner with their Chief Architect once; two heads are better than one.
Amy: What, you saying you helped them?
The Doctor: No, I'm saying they have two heads.

The Doctor: Amazing species, the Aplans! We should visit them sometime.
Amy: I thought they were all dead.
The Doctor: Yeah? So is Virginia Woolf, and I'm on her bowling team.

The Doctor: Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.
Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?
The Doctor: Me.

Amy Pond: What if the gravity fails?
The Doctor: I've thought about that.
Amy Pond: And?
The Doctor: We will all plunge to our deaths. See? I've thought about it! Ah, the security protocols are still active. There's no way to override them; it's impossible!
River Song: How impossible?
The Doctor: Two minutes.

Angel Bob: Doctor? Excuse me, hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir.
The Doctor: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject.
Angel Bob: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve.
The Doctor: Achieve? We're not achieving anything. We're just hanging, it's nice in here: consoles; comfy chairs; a forest... how's things with you?
Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world, and all the stars and worlds beyond.
The Doctor: Yeah, but we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention?
Angel Bob: We have no need for comfy chairs.
The Doctor: [amused] I made him say "comfy chairs".

River Song: How did you get past them?
The Doctor: Found a crack in the wall and told them it was the end of the universe.
Amy: What was it?
The Doctor: The end of the universe.

The Doctor: Rory! That's a relief! I thought I had burst out of the wrong cake. Again. That reminds me, there's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Can someone let her in, give her a jumper? Lucy. Lovely girl. Diabetic. Now then, Rory, we need to talk about your fiancé. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what though, you're a lucky man; she's a great kisser! [Glass smashes; Doctor realizes what he just said] ...Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.

The Doctor: It's a lot to take in, isn't it? Tiny box, huge room inside; what's that about? Let me explain...
Rory: It's another dimension.
The Doctor: It's basically another dimensi... what?
Rory: After what happened with Prisoner Zero, I've been reading up on all the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes.
The Doctor: I like the bit when someone says "It's bigger on the inside!" I always look forward to that.

[The Doctor looks in a mirror]
The Doctor: Hello, handsome.
Calvierri Girls: Who are you?
[Looks at the mirror and then at the girls, realising that they cast no reflection]
The Doctor: How are you doing that? I am loving it! You're like Houdini, only five slightly scary girls. And he was shorter... will be shorter. I'm rambling.
Calvierri Girls: We'll ask you again, signore: who are you?
The Doctor: Why don't you check this out? [Shows them a card with a picture of the First Doctor; long pause as the girls look confused; he looks at the card and remembers that he has left the psychic paper with Rory] Library card, of course! It's with... he's [gestures in front of his face to imitate Rory's long nose]... I need a spare. [Beat] Pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight... and can't be seen... ah, am I thinking what I think I'm thinking? But the city, why shut down the city?
Calvierri Girls: Leave now, signore, or we shall call for the steward. If you're lucky.
The Doctor: Ooh!
[The girls suddenly grow long fangs and start to approach the Doctor; he goes to the stairs, then spins around toward them]
The Doctor: Tell me the whole plan! ...one day that'll work. Listen, I would love to stay, but this whole thing; I mean, I'm thrilled; oh, this is Christmas!

Rory: And you kissed her back?
The Doctor: No, I kissed her mouth.

Amy: Hey, look at this. I got my spaceship, I got my boys... my work here is done.
Rory: We are not her "boys."
The Doctor: Yeah, we are.
Rory: Yeah, we are.
The Doctor: Rory, listen to that.
Rory: Er, what? All I can hear is...silence.
The Doctor: Exactly.

The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case... god, it's useful!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!

The Doctor: There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.

The Dream Lord: If you die in the dream, you wake up in reality. Healthy recovery in next to no time. Ask me what happens if you die in reality.
Rory: What happens?
The Dream Lord: You die, stupid. That's why it's called "reality".

Rory: Oh, a poncho. The biggest crime against fashion since lederhosen.
Amy: Ah, here we go. Oh, my boys, my poncho boys, if we're going to die, let's go out looking like a Peruvian folk band.

The Doctor: Ice can burn, sofas can read, it's a big universe!

The Doctor: Oh look, a big mining thing. Oh, I love a big mining thing... see? Way better than Rio; Rio doesn't have a big mining thing.
Amy: We're not going to have a look, are we?
The Doctor: Let's go and have a look.

The Doctor: "Restricted access, no unauthorized personnel." Hmmm.... [opens lock with sonic screwdriver]
Amy: That's breaking and entering!
The Doctor: What did I break? Sonic-ing and entering, totally different.

Rory: Doctor, something weird's going on here, the graves are eating people.
The Doctor: Not now, Rory!

[Trying to open the church door]
The Doctor: Rory, give us a hand!
Rory: Can't you sonic it?
The Doctor: It doesn't do wood.
Rory: That's... rubbish.
The Doctor: Oi! Don't diss the sonic!

The Doctor: There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them, this is an opportunity. Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

The Doctor: Bringing things to order, the first meeting of the representatives of the human race and homo reptilia is now in session. Never said that before. That's fab.

Vincent van Gogh: It seems to me there is so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of. It's colour! Colour that holds the key! I can hear the colours, listen to them. Every time I step outside, I feel nature is shouting at me. Come on! Come and get me! Come on! Capture my mystery!
The Doctor: Maybe you've had enough coffee now; how about some nice, calming tea? Let's get you a cup of chamomile or something, shall we?

Amy: Please tell me you have a plan.
The Doctor: No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Vincent: But you’re not armed!
The Doctor: I am!
Vincent: What with?
The Doctor: Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted.

Vincent: Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. [the starscape slowly transforms into The Starry Night] And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roll their light? Everywhere we look, complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
Doctor: I’ve seen many things, my friend, but you’re right: nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see.

[The Doctor has taken the Vincent forward in time to the van Gogh exhibition in Musée d'Orsay, 2010]
The Doctor: Dr Black? We met a few days ago; I asked you about The Church at Auvers.
Dr Black: Ah, yes; glad to be of help. You were nice about my tie.
The Doctor: And today is another cracker if I may say so. [steering Dr Black into Vincent's vicinity] But I just wondered between you and me in 100 words where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?
Dr Black: Well... big question, but to me, van Gogh is the finest painter of them all; certainly the most popular great painter of all time: The most beloved; his most command of colour; the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world’s greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.
[Vincent, already in shock, starts breaking down in tears]
Doctor: Oh, Vincent, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, is it too much?
Vincent: No, they are tears of joy! Thank you sir, thank you! [kisses Dr Black in gratitude] Sorry about the beard.

The Doctor: The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

Craig: [Opening door, believing it to be Sophie] I love you!
The Doctor: Well that's good, because I'm your new lodger.
[Craig stares at him in shock]
The Doctor: Y'know, this is going to be easier than I expected.

The Doctor: Ah you want to see my credentials… [shows psychic paper] There, national insurance number... [passes psychic paper behind his back] NHS number... [passes psychic paper behind his back again] References.
Craig: [incredulous] Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?!
The Doctor: I'm his special favourite. Shhh.

The Doctor: [talking to Amy in the TARDIS using a communicator] Now all I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
Amy: Have you seen you?
The Doctor: So you're just going to be snide? No helpful hints?
Amy: Hmm, well, here's one: Bow tie - get rid!
The Doctor: Bow ties... are... cool.

[After the Doctor single-handedly wins a football match]
Shaun: You are so on the team! We've got the cup next week and we are going to annihilate them!
The Doctor: [sternly] Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm.
[Shaun looks at him like he's crazy]
The Doctor: And you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
Shaun: Yeah.
The Doctor: ...Lovely. [grins] What sort of time?

Craig: You're better at football then me, and my job, and everybody loves you, and now Sophie's all like "ooh monkeys, monkeys!" and then there's this! [Throws open door to reveal a scanner constructed from an umbrella, a traffic cone, a clothes line and Christmas lights] What is this?!
The Doctor: It's art! A statement on modern society! "Ooh, Ain't Modern Society Awful?"!

The Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.
River Song: You wouldn't answer your phone.

The Doctor: [about what is in the Pandorica] There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior... A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: How did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River: [to Amy] I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

[A Cyber-arm fires at the Doctor and Amy, who retreat behind the Pandorica]
Amy: What was that?!
The Doctor: Okay, need a proper look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a target.
Amy: How?
Doctor: You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
Amy: Yes...
The Doctor: Sorry.
[The Doctor runs out from behind the Pandorica]
The Doctor: [shouting] Look at me, I'm a target!

The Doctor: Amy! Where's Amy?
Rory: She's fine, Doctor, just unconscious.
The Doctor: [examining Amy with the sonic screwdriver] Okay... Yes, she's sedated though, so, half an hour she'll be fine... Okay, Romans! Good, I was just wishing for Romans! Good old River, how many?
Rory: Fifty men up top, volunteers. What about that thing?
The Doctor: [distracted] Fifty? Not exactly a legion.
Rory: Your friend was very persuasive, but, uh... It's a tough sell...
The Doctor: Yes, I know that, Rory, I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious, but we need everything we can get. Okay! Cyberweapons, this is basically a sentry post, headless wonder here was a sentry. Probably got himself duffed up by the locals; never underestimate a Celt.
Rory: Doctor!
The Doctor: Hush, Rory, thinking. What could the Cybermen have guarded unless it's a Cyberthing in the box but why lock up one of their own? Okay, no, not a Cyberthing but what? What? Oh, missing something obvious, Rory! Something big, something right slap in front of me, I can feel it.
Rory: Yeah, I think you probably are.
The Doctor: I'll get it in a minute. [hauls the Cyberweapons over his shoulder and walks off; the sound of metal hitting the floor loudly, then returns a minute later, looking confused, and pokes Rory's chest. Rory leans backwards, then forwards, and the Doctor finally realizes Rory is there] Hello again.
Rory: Hello.
The Doctor: How have you been?
Rory: Good, yeah. Good. I mean, Roman.
The Doctor: Rory, [gesturing madly] I'm not trying to be rude, but you died.
Rory: Yeah. I know. I was there.
The Doctor: You died, and then you were erased from time. You didn't just die, you were never born at all, you never existed.
Rory: Erased? Wh-what does that mean?
The Doctor: How can you be here?
Rory: Well—I don't know. It's... kinda fuzzy.
The Doctor: Fuzzy...
Rory: Well, I died, and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting.

[Auton Rory cradles the deceased Amy in his arms.]
Auton Rory: So, the universe ended. You missed that. In 102 AD. I suppose this means you and I never get born at all... twice in my case. [beat.] You would've laughed at that. Please laugh. The Doctor said the universe was huge and ridiculous and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now.
[The Doctor appears in front of Rory wearing a fez and holding a mop.]
The Doctor: Rory, listen! She's not dead... well, she is dead, but it's not the end of the world... well, it is the end of the world. Actually, it's the end of the universe. Ooh no, hang on. [he disappears.]
Auton Rory: Doctor?! DOCTOR!
[The Doctor reappears, this time without the mop.]
The Doctor: You need to get me out of the Pandorica.
Auton Rory: But you're not in the Pandorica.
The Doctor: Yes I am. Well, now I'm not, but I was back then... which is "now" from your point of view, which is "back then" from my point of view. Time travel—you can't keep it straight in your head. [whirs sonic screwdriver.] Easy to open from the outside—just point, and press. [tosses it to Rory.] Now, go. [disappears again, leaving Rory bemused... then reappears.] Oh, and when you're done, leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. [disappears again.]
Auton Rory: What do you mean?! Done what?!

The Doctor: [to Rory] Why do you have to be so... human?
Rory: Because right now I'm not.

Museum Narrator: [referring to Rory] According to legend, wherever the Pandorica was taken throughout its long history, the centurion would be there guarding it. He appears as an iconic image in the artwork of many cultures, and there are several documented accounts of his appearances and his warnings to the many that attempted to open the box before its time. His last recorded appearance was during the London blitz in 1941. The warehouse were the Pandorica was stored was destroyed by incendiary bombs, but the box itself was found the next morning a safe distance from the blaze. There were eyewitness accounts from the night of the fire of a figure in Roman dress carrying the box from the flames. Since then, there have been no sightings of the lone centurion, and many have speculated that if he ever existed, he perished in the fires of that night, performing one last act of devotion to the box he had pledged to protect for nearly two thousand years.

River Song: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
[Amy takes the fez and throws it in the air, and River blasts it into smithereens.]

The Doctor: The box contains a memory of the universe, and the light transmits the memory — and that's how were going to do it.
Amy: Do what?
The Doctor [casually]: Relight the fire. Reboot the universe.

Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River Song: Not yet... Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha-meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor.
River Song: I'm River Song. Check your records again. [aims for the eye-stalk]
Dalek: [uneasily] ... Mercy?
River Song: Say it again?
Dalek: Mercy!
River Song: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!!!
[Cut to River rejoining Amy and Rory]
Amy: What happened to the Dalek?
River: [coldly] It died.

The Doctor: [to the sleeping Amelia] Funny. Thought that if you could hear me, I could hang on somehow. Silly me... Silly old Doctor... when you wake up, you'll have a Mum and Dad. And you won't remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. That's okay; we're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one. 'Cos it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, borrowed it; I was always gonna take it back. Oh, that box, Amy. You'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient. And the... bluest... blue... ever. And the times we had. Woulda had. Never had. In your dreams they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came. [hears rumbling] The cracks are closing. But they can't close properly 'til I'm on the other side. I don't belong here any more. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

Amy: There's someone missing. Someone important, someone so, so important. Sorry everyone, but when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor, my Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real. [shouting] I remember you! I remember! I brought the others back; I can bring you home too! Raggedy man, I remember you! And you are late for my wedding!
[As Amy remembers, the Doctor and the TARDIS starts to materialize in the room]
Amy: I found you; I found you in words just like you knew I would; that's why you told me the story, the brand new, ancient blue box. Oh clever, oh very clever.
Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.
[To triumphant music, the TARDIS returns to the Universe. Amy runs to it and knocks on the door]
Rory: [In the background] It's the Doctor! How could we forget the Doctor? He was the stripper at my stag do... I was plastic.
Amy: Okay Doctor, did I surprise you this time?
[The TARDIS doors open, revealing the Doctor wearing a top hat, white tie and tails]
The Doctor: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that...

River: [River speaks to The Doctor before he opens his TARDIS with his key, and turns to River] Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you?
The Doctor: You tell me.
River: [Gives a small gasp of amusement] Spoilers.
The Doctor: The writing's all back, but I didn't peek. [He hands her her diary first]
River: Thank you. [Then slowly gives her back the Time Vortex Manipulator]
The Doctor: [He slowly asks with interest] Are you married, River?
River: [River puts on the Vortex Manipulator as he asks her] Are you asking?
The Doctor: Yes.
River: [She responds keenly] Yes.
The Doctor: No, hang on, did you think I asked you to marry me or, or, or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No but, was that a Yes or Yes?
River: [Responding somewhat like a whisper] Yes.
The Doctor: [He asks her in wonderment and disbelief] River, who are you?
River: You're going to find out very soon now. And I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes. [With the press of one button on the Time Vortex Manipulator. She looks at The Doctor before she vanishes. Leaving The Doctor smiling with bewilderment.]
The Doctor: Nah... [He says to himself]
[The Doctor enters his TARDIS and puts up his hat on the coat hanger, walks or slightly waltzes his way to the control panels of the TARDIS. He gives a small spin while taking off his scarf. As he looks up to the central unit, the door opens. In come Amy and Rory.]

[In the TARDIS]
The Doctor: 1963. Such a good year.
Amy: That the year you bought that outfit, then?
The Doctor: You know, we can go see the Beatles play in 1963 - but the Ice Age is only a click away on the dial.
Amy: Can I meet John Lennon?
The Doctor: What? Not Ringo? Why doesn't anybody ever want to meet Ringo?
Amy: There's no such thing as a sexy drummer.
The Doctor: You know, I'd never considered that. Then again, why would I? 1963. The Beatles' first two albums. Sean Connery as James Bond, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, Mary Quant, John Steed and Cathy Gale. Right now, out there London is the coolest place not just on Earth, but the whole galaxy!
[He leaves the TARDIS - and finds London reduced to a ruined wasteland]

[the Doctor falls down Kazran's chimney, swiftly rolling out of the fireplace and getting up, dusting himself off]
The Doctor: Ah! Yes! Blimey, sorry! Christmas Eve on a rooftop I saw a chimney... my whole brain just went... "What the hell!"

The Doctor: Father Christmas, Santa Claus, or, as I've always known him, Jeff.

The Doctor: [going over to Sardick's cloud-controlling machine] Ah! Big, flashy, lighty thing! That's why I'm here! Big, flashy, lighty things have got me written all over them! Not actually, but give me time. And a crayon.

The Doctor: [attempting to operate Sardick's machine] I'd eat my hat. If I hat a hat. I'd eat someone's hat, maybe if they weren't using it--sorry, I'm rambling now, because THIS THING ISN'T WORKING!
Kazran: The controls are isomorphic. One-to-one. They only respond to me.
The Doctor: Ohh, you fibber! "Isomorphic." There's no such thing.
[Kazran goes over and flips a switch, shutting off the lights on the machine, then flips it back and the lights turn back on. The Doctor tries to flip the same switch and nothing happens. He then takes out the sonic screwdriver and scans the machine and Kazran. He looks at the screwdriver, then puts it away]
The Doctor: ... these controls are isomorphic.

The Doctor: There are four-thousand-and-three people in a spaceship trapped in your cloud belt. Without your help they're going to die.
Kazran: Yes.
The Doctor: You don't have to let that happen.
Kazran: I know, but I'm going to. Bye-bye!

The Doctor: There are four-thousand-and-three people I won't allow to die tonight. Do you know where that puts you?
Kazran: Where?
The Doctor: Four-thousand-and-four.

The Doctor: Oh, I wouldn't bother calling your servants. They quit. Apparently they won the lottery at the exact same time, which is a bit lucky when you think about it.
Kazran: There isn't any lottery.
The Doctor: Yeah, as I say: Lucky.

The Doctor: Hi, I'm the Doctor. I'm your new babysitter!
Young Kazran: Where's Mrs. Mantebarney?
The Doctor: Oh, you'll never guess, clever ol' Mrs. Manty! She only went and won the lottery!
Old Kazran: [watching on a projector] THERE ISN'T ANY LOTTERY!
Young Kazran: There isn't any lottery.
The Doctor: I know! What a woman!
Young Kazran: If you're my new babysitter, why are you climbing in the window?
The Doctor: Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.

The Doctor: Right, so what are we gonna do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls, yeah? [gestures excitedly]
Young Kazran: Are you really a babysitter?
The Doctor: I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult. [shows him the psychic paper]
Young Kazran: ... it's just a lot of wavy lines.
The Doctor: [looks at the paper] ... yeah, it shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. Yeah, not really a babysitter, but this Christmas Eve, you don't want a real one. You want me.
Young Kazran: Why? What's so special about you?
The Doctor: Have you ever seen Mary Poppins?
Young Kazran: No.
The Doctor: Good, because that comparison would have been rubbish.

[Young Kazran and the Doctor are in Kazran's cupboard, the Doctor holds the door closed against an attacking shark]
The Doctor: Well, concentrating at the pluses, you've definitely got a story of your own now. Also, I got a good look at the fish, so I think I understand how the fog works, which is gonna help me land a spaceship in the future and save a lot of lives! And I'm going to get some very interesting readings off of my sonic screwdriver when I get it back from the shark in your bedroom.
Young Kazran: There's a SHARK in my BEDROOM?!
The Doctor: Oh, fine! Focus on that part!

[Young Kazran and the Doctor are being attacked by a shark]
Young Kazran: It's going to eat us!
The Doctor: Well, maybe we're going to eat it, but I don't like the odds!

Adult Kazran: I think she's going to kiss me.
The Doctor: Yeah, I think you're right. [shoves him toward Abigail, he comes back]
Adult Kazran: I've never kissed anyone before... what do I do?
The Doctor: Well... [puts his arm around Kazran] Try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky.
Adult Kazran: ... Why?
The Doctor: Because you're gonna be like that anyway. Might as well make it part of the plan, then you'll feel it on purpose. Now go. [shoves him again]
Adult Kazran: [comes back again] Now? I kiss her now?
The Doctor: Look, it's this, or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don't make my mistakes!

Kazran: Why are you here?
The Doctor: 'Cause I'm not finished with you yet. You've seen the past, present,and now you need to see the future.
Kazran: Fine! Do it! Show me! I'll die cold, alone, and afraid. Of course, I will. We all do. What difference does showing me make?! Do you know why I'm going to let those people die? Not a plan; I don't get anything from it. It's just that I don't care! I'm not like you! I don't even want to be like you! I don't and never, ever will care!
The Doctor: And I don't believe that.
Kazran: Then show me the future. Prove me wrong!
The Doctor: I am showing it to you. I'm showing it to you right now. So, what do you think? [The Doctor is speaking to someone else now. He looks over Kazran's shoulder and Kazran turns around to see his twelve-year-old self in front of the TARDIS starring back at him] Is this who you want to become, Kazran?

The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?

Amy: Nice hat.
The Doctor: I wear a stetson now. Stetsons are cool.
[suddenly the hat is shot off his head]
River Song: Hello sweetie.

The Doctor: Time isn't a straight line, it's all bumpy-wumpy. There's loads of boring stuff, like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays, big temporal tipping points when anything's possible.

The Doctor: I'm your new undercover agent on loan from Scotland Yard. Codename: The Doctor. These are my top operatives, The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.
River Song: I hate you.
The Doctor: No, you don't.

The Doctor: I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilize, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve jammie dodgers and a fez.
Delaware: Get him his maps.

The Doctor: Brave heart, Canton.

Canton: What about Dr. Song? She dove off a rooftop!
The Doctor: Don't worry. She does that.

The Doctor: Oh this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, and has her own gun. And unlike me she really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that. Kinda do, a bit.
River Song: Thank you, sweetie.
The Doctor: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill the first three of you.
River: Oh, the first seven, easy.
The Doctor: Seven, really?
River: Oh, eight for you, honey.
The Doctor: Stop it!
River: Make me!
The Doctor: Oh, maybe I will!
Amy Pond :[tied to a chair] Is this really important, flirting? 'Cause I feel like I should be higher on the list right now!

Rory: So what kind of Doctor are you?
River: Archeology. (A Silent appears behing her, so without looking River shoots it.)

Nixon: So we're safe again!
The Doctor: Safe? No, of course you're not safe! There's about another billion things out there just waiting to burn your whole world, but, if you wanna pretend you're safe just so you can sleep at night, okay, you're safe. But you're not really.

Amy: If you can make it all the way to Earth, why steal technology that could barely make it to the moon?
The Doctor: Maybe ‘cause it’s cooler! Look how cool this stuff is!
Amy: Cool aliens?
The Doctor: Well, what would you call me?
Amy: An alien.

The Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends, Pond flirting with herself. True love at last. Oh. Sorry, Rory.

The Doctor: Okay, groovy. So you're just not pirates today — we've managed to bag us a ship with a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you.

The Doctor: And the gun's back. You're big on the gun thing, aren't you? Freud would say you're compensating. Ever met Freud? No. Comfy sofa.

The Doctor: Oh, it's the warning lights! I need to get rid of those, they never stop

Idris: You ever wonder why I chose you all those years ago?
The Doctor: I chose you. You were unlocked.
Idris: Of course I was. I wanted to see the universe so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough

Rory: What is happening?
The Doctor: We are leaving the universe!
Amy: How can you leave the universe?
The Doctor: With enormous difficulty

Amy: You want to be forgiven.
The Doctor: Don't we all?

Amy: What do you need from me?
The Doctor: My screwdriver, I left it in the TARDIS. It's in my jacket.
Rory: You're wearing your jacket.
The Doctor: My other jacket.
Rory: You have two of those?

The Doctor: I don't understand. Who are you?
Idris: Do you really not know me? Just because they put me in here?
The Doctor: They said you were dangerous.
Idris: Not the cage, stupid. [touching her face] In here. They put me in here. I'm the... oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go... [makes dematerialization noise]
The Doctor: The TARDIS?
Idris: Time and Relative Dimension in Space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me. I'm the TARDIS.
The Doctor: No, you're not. You're a bitey mad lady. The TARDIS is... up and down, it's a big blue box.
Idris: Yes, that's me. A Type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were young. And the first time you touched my console...
The Doctor: [interupting] I said you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever known.
Idris: Then you stole me. And I stole you.
The Doctor: I borrowed you.
Idris: "Borrowing" implies you eventually planned to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?
The Doctor: You're the TARDIS.
Idris: Yes.
The Doctor: My TARDIS.
Idris: My Doctor. Oh, we have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock

The Doctor: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.
Idris: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.

Idris: You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.
The Doctor: I always read the instructions!
Idris: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?
The Doctor: That's not instructions.
Idris: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?
The Doctor: "Pull to open."
Idris: Yes, and what do you do?
The Doctor: I push!
Idris: Every single time. Seven hundred years, police box doors open out the way.
The Doctor: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want.
Idris: Your front doors? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?

The Doctor: The House deleted all the bedrooms. I should probably make you two a bedroom. You'd like that, won't you?
Amy: Okay... um... Doctor... this time could we lose the bunk bed?
The Doctor: No, bunk beds are cool. A bed with a ladder! You can't beat that.

Idris: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word but so sad. I've found it now.
The Doctor: What word?
Idris: Alive. Alive. I'm alive.
The Doctor: Alive isn't sad.
Idris: It's sad when it's over.

Jimmy: This is insane. We're fighting ourselves.
The Doctor: Yes, it's insane. And it's about to get even more insanerer. Is that a word?

The Doctor: So what's the plan?
The Doctor: Save them all — humans and gangers.
The Doctor: Tall order — sounds wonderful.
The Doctor: Is that what you were thinking?
The Doctor: Yes. It's just so inspiring to hear me say it.

(After Rory asks the twelfth Cyber Legion where Amy is.)
Rory: Oh, don't give me those blank looks.

The Doctor: Hello! Hello, ah... baby.
Amy: Melody.
The Doctor: Melody! Hello Melody Pond.
Rory: Melody Williams.
Amy: Is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a super hero.
The Doctor talking to Melody: Well yes I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her. Maybe I should give it a go.

The Doctor: It's okay, she's still all yours. And really you should call her mummy, not big milk thing.
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Amy: No you don't.
The Doctor: I speak everything. Don't I, Melody Pond? {straightening his bow tie} No it's not. It's cool.

The Doctor: Hello everyone! Guess who? Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. You're only human.



Miscellanious quotes:

The X-Files:
Scully: You lied. You have seen it before, I can tell. You lied to them.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.

MULDER: Huh … it sounds to me like that's witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you're looking for there.

SCULLY: No, I don't think it's witchcraft, Mulder, or sorcery. I've had a look around and I don't see any evidence that warrants that kind of suspicion.
MULDER: Maybe you don't know what you're looking for.
SCULLY: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca or any kind of pagan or neo-Pagan practice. Charms, cards… familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, Santeria, Voudoun, Macumba, or any high or low magic?
MULDER: Scully…
SCULLY: Yes?
MULDER: Marry me.
SCULLY: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
MULDER: Well, you know, short of looking for a lady wearing a pointy hat riding a broomstick, I think you pretty much got it covered there.

SCULLY: Mulder, are there any references in occult literature to objects that have the power to direct human behavior?
MULDER: What types of objects?
SCULLY: Um, like a doll, for instance.
MULDER: You mean like Chuckie?
SCULLY: Yeah, kind of like that.
MULDER: Yeah, the talking doll myth is well established in literature, especially in New England. The-the fetish or Juju is believed to pass on magical powers onto its possessor. Some of the early witches were condemned for little more than proclaiming that these objects existed. The supposed witch having premonitory visions and things …. Why do you ask?
SCULLY: I was just curious.
MULDER: You didn't find a talking doll, did you, Scully?
SCULLY: No, no. Of course not.
MULDER: I would suggest that you check the back of the doll for a - a plastic ring with a string on it.

(After Scully sees all the pencils in the ceiling when some fall on Mulder)
MULDER: There's … got to be an explanation.
SCULLY: Oh, I don't know. I think some things are better left unexplained.

SCULLY: Heart weighs 370 grams, tissue appears healthy. Left lung weighs 345 grams, tissue appears healthy. Large intestine ... 890 grams, yada yada yada... Stomach contents show last meal close to the time of death, consisting of ... pizza. Topped with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms ... mushrooms ... That sounds really good.

SCULLY: You're saying that I actually hit him two times?
MULDER: Square in the chest. No effect.
SCULLY: And then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel?
MULDER: Well, I don't think I'll use the phrase "flying squirrel" when I talk to Skinner, but... yeah, that's what happened.

SKINNER: It speaks of a monster stalking employees. Your insight into such claims should aid in assessing the threat, if any, posed by this person.
MULDER: Monsters. I'm your boy.

MULDER: I must've done something to piss him off.
SCULLY: What do you mean?
MULDER: Get stuck with this jerk-off assignment or have I finally reached that magic point in my career where every time somebody sees Bigfoot or the Virgin Mary on a tortilla I get called to offer my special insight on the matter?
SCULLY: You're saying "I" a lot. I heard "we." Nor do I assume that this case is just a waste of our time.
MULDER: Not yours, anyway. There's no reason both of us should go to Chicago. I'll take care of it.
SCULLY: Mulder…
MULDER: I'm monster boy, right?

MULDER: Scully, at the risk of you telling me "I told you so" I think it's time for you to get down here and help me.
SCULLY: I told you so.

[Mulder is restrained in a hospital bed]
Mulder: Five years together, Scully. You must have seen this coming.

MULDER: What did you tell him?
SCULLY: The truth … as well as I understand it.
MULDER: Which is?
SCULLY: Folie A Deux. A madness shared by two.

MULDER: When you were admitted you said that the baby's father was from another planet. What did you mean by that exactly?
AMANDA: You know, that he's not from this planet.
MULDER: Were you abducted?
AMANDA: Huh? No, no, he dropped by my apartment one day, and one thing sort of led to another...
MULDER: But the baby's father is an alien?
AMANDA: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien, I said he was from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what's known as a Jedi Knight.
SCULLY: Did he have a light saber?
AMANDA: No, he didn't bring it.
SCULLY: How many times have you seen Star Wars, Amanda?
AMANDA: Three hundred and sixty eight. I should break four hundred by Memorial Day.

MULDER: What did you want to talk to me about, Eddie?
EDDIE: I just think it's funny. I was born a loser, but you're one by choice.

SCULLY: I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
MULDER: Well, that's one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.
SCULLY: It's open [car].
MULDER: What?
SCULLY: It's unlocked.
MULDER: That's weird. I'm sure I locked it.
SCULLY: Must be an X-File.

MULDER: I have to admit, that fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies.
SCULLY: Yeah, it ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning how to braid my own hair.

LANGLY: So, check it out, Mulder, today I had breakfast with the guy who shot John F. Kennedy.
MULDER: Is that so?
LANGLY: Old dude now, but yeah. Says he was dressed as a cop on the grassy knoll.

FROHIKE: Ya feeling better?
MULDER: Yeah I am, thank you, I just ... mmm ... I have these weird ideas in my head that I can't seem to shake.
FROHIKE: What kind of ideas?
MULDER: Weird ones.



Torchwood:

Owen: You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we called it the Resurrection Gauntlet.
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about "The Risen Mitten"? I think it's catchy.

Ianto: Amazing. She's a natural. 24 seconds.
Owen: Give Ianto a stop watch and he's happy.
Ianto: It's the button on the top.

Owen looking for a catchy name: Ianto?
Ianto: The Life Knife.

Jack: That one's for Ianto. Risen Mitten, Life Knife, and that old classic: stun gun.

Detective Swanson on speakerphone: Alright, Captain Jack, just say that one more time. Nice and clear.
Jack: We're locked in our base and we can't get out.

Ianto: Oh, Jack? What do you want me to say on the death certificate?
Jack: Good question.
Ianto: She had quite a few deaths in the end.
Jack: I don't know. “Death by Torchwood.”
Ianto: I'll put a lock on the door. Just in case she goes walking again.
Jack: Nah. No chance of that. The Resurrection Days are over, thank God.
Ianto: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure. That's the thing about gloves, sir. They come in pairs.

Jack: No other race in the universe goes camping. Celebrate your own uniqueness.

Jack: Anything on his phone from today?
Gwen: Just some pictures of random shoes.

Owen: This is Owen's voicemail. Don't leave a message.

Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar? The woman points the way Thank you.
Woman: Bloody Torchwood.

Owen: Where were you?
Jack: I found my doctor.
Owen: Did he fix you?
Jack: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.

Jack: I found your diary. And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.

Toshiko: Are we seriously going to act on something she "Googled"?

Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger will know no bounds", but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers.

Jack: Thirty-six minutes. Not bad.
Owen: You were watching?
Jack: Skinny guy in tight jeans runs into water? I was taking pictures.

Jack: What is it with you? Ever since Owen died all you ever do is agree with him.
Ianto: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead. Even if they still do most of the talking themselves.

Ianto: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day you're chasing the scum of the Universe, come midnight, you're the Wedding Fairy.

Gwen: Could be one of the lights on the barrage.
PC Andy: Alright, stop lying. You know what happened here. Why aren't you telling me?
Gwen: What are you talking about, Andy?
PC Andy: Right, 45 minutes later. What's your mate Mulder doing there?
Gwen: Jack.

21 months earlier,
Jack: Thanks for your assistance,
Ianto: Anytime. By the way, love the coat.

Jack: Come back with me. I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.
Ianto: Okay, so you let a pterodactyl in and not me?
Jack: We need a guard dog.
Ianto: I can be that. And a receptionist.

Rhys: I'm keeping more secrets than you'd ever believe.
Andy: Yeah right. Like what?
Rhys: Like a Time Agency based in Cardiff.
Gwen: Oh, it's not based in Cardiff.
Andy: Brilliant secret. I ask, you tell. Well done.

------





Because you know so.

Zoezora's friends

Comments for Zoezora

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_Kiba17_ wrote (2 days ago)

LOVE YOU ZOE~!!!<3 ^-^/

Skittypool wrote (2 months ago)

Thank you!!

_Kiba17_ wrote (3 months ago)

YOUR PICTURE!! SO COOL!!

_Kiba17_ wrote (5 months ago)

thankyou buddy :3
(we need to hang bro lol) <3
*HUGGSS!!*
merry christmas!!! (late by 100 minutes exact! :D )

_Kiba17_ wrote (7 months ago)

Thankyou buddy <3 :3

I miss youu we need to talk~!! TT_TT

bluemist wrote (7 months ago)

i lOVE doctor who!!!!!

_Kiba17_ wrote (9 months ago)

Thankyou ZOE~!!!!!!!
<33333333

_Kiba17_ wrote (10 months ago)

Zoooeee I miss yooou <3 ~:)

_Kiba17_ wrote (10 months ago)

Long live the elephant~ <3 :D haha~

_Kiba17_ wrote (11 months ago)

<333333333
I MISS YOUUUUUUU~!!!!!!!!
<3333333 ^ ^

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