HoboToast

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Sketchfu-ing since 02/19/2010 (user #62187)

female

Gmail, most likely bothering some salad dressing.

http://hobotoast.deviantart.com/, http://www.formspring.me/HoboTurr

About HoboToast

HEY SKETCHFU MAYBE I'LL DRAW MORE LOL MY FRIEND SAID TO DELETE THE PREVIOUS STUFF I WROTE ON THIS PROFILE CAUSE IT WAS DUMB HURRDURR KBYE.
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My name is Turr, short for Turrent. You can call me HT, or HobotToast also.

.The First rule of Turr is: you do not talk about Turr.
.Turr is not only a noun, but a verb.
.Turr can taste lies.
.Turr can tie her shoes with her feet.
.It is scientifically impossible for Turr to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that she went back in time and fathered herself.
.Turr once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
.Turr can judge a book by its cover.
.Turr was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. She declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
.If you can see Turr, she can see you. If you can't see Turr you may be only seconds away from death.
.Turr once had a heart attack; her heart lost.
.The dinosaurs became extinct because of the Turrasaurous.
.Turr once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. Her opponent drowned.
.The square root of Turr is pain. Do not try to square Turr, the result is death.
.Turr doesn't own a can opener, she just chews through the can.
.Turr once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
.Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Turr is looking for it.
.The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Turr. This amuses Turr because she is bulletproof.
.The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Turr has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
.Turr eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, she uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which she uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
.Turr can speak braille.
.The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Turr.
.In an emergency, Turr can be used as a floatation device.
. Turr recently had the idea to sell her urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
.Bullets dodge Turr.
.Turr enjoys a good practical joke. Her favorite is where she removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then she cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting her on her balloon animal.
.Mr. T pities the fool. Turr rips the fool's head off.
. Turr invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
.Turr doesn't wash her clothes, she disembowels them.
.When Turr answers the phone, she just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.
.Turr doesn't use pickup lines, she simply says, "Now."
.Turr knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
.Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Turr will beat his ass and take it.
.When Turr falls in water, Turr doesn't get wet. Water gets Turr.
.Turr's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Turr.
.M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Turr can touch this.
.Turr used to beat the shit out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her.
.When Turr looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Turr and Turr.
.According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Turr created God by snapping her fingers.

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[̲̅H̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅b̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅T̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅s̲̅][̲̅t̲̅]

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Comments for HoboToast

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BabsBlueEyes wrote (5 months ago)

Thanks for cheering

kunoichiag wrote (6 months ago)

Thanks for the cheers

Baileyy wrote (9 months ago)

Ahaha, I agree. xD
And you're welcome. :)

Psykokitteh wrote (9 months ago)

LOLOLOLtroll. U MAD, BRO?

I WILL GIVE YOU MY NEW NUMBER, HO. When I get the motivation to transfer your number, from my old phone, to my new phone. ._. I don't feel like getting up. ;~; *sick this morning* I've been throwing up since I woke up...at like 4am.

Psykokitteh wrote (9 months ago)

OMGROFLCOPTERIFYOUWOULDATEXTEDMEYOUWOULDAGOTTENTHEWRONGNUMBER.

I got a new phone. :3 So, therefore, I have a new number.

Psykokitteh wrote (9 months ago)

LIRJTEURHERHi.

Chocomochacocoloco wrote (9 months ago)

thank you~! ;o;

Psykokitteh wrote (9 months ago)

:U

Psykokitteh wrote (10 months ago)

I love finches. They're pretty. :3

JKLDFGNDJKFGN. I should have asked. But, I'm too shy, to.

Psykokitteh wrote (10 months ago)

Carlie was a parakeet. He was white, and light blue, and black. He would squawk everyday at 9:30a.m. It was annoying, 'specially on the weekends.

How long have you had your burdies?

And I DID talk to him. A little. His name was Kyle. And one of the nights I was there, the po-po's came flying into the campground, so we were gathered around, trying to see what was going on, and then Kyle and his "family" (he wasn't really related to them) walked up, and Kyle was staring at me. *was wearing booty shorts* <3

LKRGDJLKRGHDJRNH.

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